hillllaryanne's Journal [entries|friends|calendar] hillllaryanne information friends calendar [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

[06/04/08 - 3:05pm] david toole (2:45:18 PM): well when youre tatlking to a cold hearted humorless mean spirited hate monger you have to learn all kinds of things david toole (2:45:35 PM): amusing myself was the first thing i learned while talking to you david toole (2:45:42 PM): humility was second.... david toole (2:45:48 PM): tuck the tail and run is next me (2:45:56 PM): hahahahaha add

[05/13/08 - 12:11pm] 1. moved out of our beautiful house. too much bullshit. lost a friend, lost a lot of money, blah blah blah. 2. Bryan stopped drinking. I feel like I have my best friend back, and it's fantastic. We spent the day together on Saturday.. completely random. shopping for records, dinner at La Fogata, listening to him play and sing still makes me cry, wrestling (hahahaha), mothers day shopping, Rock Band at his brothers.. just a lot of fun. 3. work is fantastic. I love my job and my boss. 4. Bamboozle was cold. I got really sick. I won't delve into that though because last week was hell. But spending time with PJ last weekend was amazing. I love that guy. Distance is such a blast. ha. 5. moving into a cute little 1 bedroom house in olympia on June 1st. just me and my kittens. 2 streets over from shige/willie, and 4 streets over from bryan.. not that they make me feel safe.. it's just nice to know I'm close to people I know. 6. Wicket and Buckley get fixed at the end of next month-- that's going to be really interesting. June is going to be amazing. 21st birthday, Cavan and whoever else is coming to visit, PJ's probably visiting, I might go to Austin (for real, this time), and just a lot of fun stuff. I need fun. I'm really in desperate need of fun. add

[12/18/07 - 12:33pm] some people don't deserve the things they've got. one day, mommy and daddy won't support you. one day, you'll have to stand on your own two feet. one day, all of your lies will catch up to you. and one day, you'll realize most of your "friends" aren't really your friends. and you'll remember who was there for you, who you lied to, who you used, and who you walked all over. being shitty will get you absolutely nowhere. I'm no angel, but at least I can say I've learned from my mistakes and I'm trying to become a better person. I wish I could say the same for other people. add

[12/05/07 - 4:26pm] [ mood | sleepy ] [ music | brandtson ] crystal IMed me the other night and said "if you could live in cali for $150 a month, would you?" in my head.. I was like HELL YES. I want to. I want to experience something new. but I don't want to have to leave my job, my friends, and my family. fjdkfkhdkghfg. I'd be living with her in huntington beach.. for $150 a fucking month. I can't even find something like that in shitty columbia. and I'd have so much fun all the goddamn time. I just feel like I need a vacation. a long, extended, huge vacation. .... I know I probably won't do it.. but it's nice to think about. blegh. add

[05/08/07 - 6:50pm] I am in denial. heavy fucking denial. and I have been for awhile. I'm not okay, I'm happy, I'm fine, but I'm not okay with this stupid fucking bullshit. add

yours isn't the first heartache in the world [05/02/07 - 2:18am] [ mood | sick ] [ music | self against city ] I don't want to be sick anymore. but then again, no one really likes to be sick- with the exception of the 16 year old me who liked to be sick so she didn't have to go to school. Everything is so weird lately, I don't think I can say that enough. I feel like I'm in a relationship, but I'm not. I, the commitment-phobe, am committing myself to someone who is also scared of commitment and someone who doesn't really know what he wants. (never has and never will) but then again, I'm not really committing myself to him.. except in an emotional aspect.. it's like.. he's the only person I feel like I can let in because he's the only person I really trust? I don't make sense anymore. I'm so lost when it comes to all of this, mainly because its so unexpected. The guy has the ability to make me feel on top of the world (which is 90% of the time) and also has the ability to make me want to drive my car off a bridge. He brings out things in me that I can't envision anyone else ever doing, and I know everyone hates him.. but I feel like he's one of my best friends and I don't want to lose him in my life. I don't care if we're not "together", I just like our friendship. I'm rambling about something that noone wants to hear about anymore. I can't believe it's been as long as it has. I like that I've turned into such an honest person. I just can't lie anymore, it takes so much out of me. and if I do lie, I come out like 20 minutes later with the truth. it's really disgustingly hot in my room, and my mom stole my fan. there's this other guy that has potential, and I know everyone would like him so much more than they like Bryan-- and I probably would too. but I feel like it might be pointless because he just got out of a relationship. he IS fun though, and I DO love being around him. but I cancelled our date on sunday because PJ was in town and I wanted to hang out and not to mention I was nervous and scared as fuck. SOMEONE GO HOUSE HUNTING WITH ME. I can't look on both sides of the street for the "for rent" signs. it's hard, and I got so frustrated the other day while I was looking. I did find a bunch though, I just need to call about the rest of them. I really just want to live by myself and support myself again. I miss having to be responsible. I miss that fucking apartment, damnit. this all needs to happen by june or I will go crazy-- absolutely crazy. I love my family, but living with them SUCKS. ( your wounds will mend, you'll be whole once again. ) 2 | add

[04/13/07 - 2:51am] :) "choose the one who loves you more..." add

[04/05/07 - 12:45pm] I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IS GOING ON. HOLY SHIT. add

gkfhdgkhdfkghldf [04/03/07 - 11:57pm] [ mood | content ] [ music | mxpx ] I always put myself in destructive situations. -got a flat tire yesterday pulling into johns yard. that was fun, it was pretty damn funny watching tony put on my spare though. gratifying, to say the least. hahaha -went to brandons last night. saw alyssa, pep, and wes. stayed there and watched science of sleep and slept. (ha) fun night. [re]learned that some people are SO FUCKING pathetic. why lie about something like that? -today I hung out with my grandma after I came home and napped. she's kind of pathetic looking lately, but she's so amazing and cute. I love her so much. also got a free brand new tire. "see, Hillary! it pays to be cute sometimes!" --my mom. and went to tracy's to get a haircut. sitting here waiting for a certain bryan taylor to call or text me about later. -thursday will be fun. a bunch of friends including a certain jake luhrs, augusta, and fassw. pretty stoked. -friday we're having a british invasion and I might get a job at american apparel. that would be exciting. -sunday is easter........... I'm happy and I need a new sidekick. 1 | add

what goes around comes back around. [03/30/07 - 10:37pm] [ mood | amused ] [ music | cartel ] 1. I've moved back to Columbia, I'm staying at my moms tonight-- but tomorrow I get to move all of my stuff into my grandmas. It's gonna be so weird staying there.. but I'm worried about her, and I'm glad I'm moving in. 2. I'm glad I've grown past the whole shit-talking phase of my life. jesus, there is a time when you just need to keep your mouth shut and keep your thoughts to yourself. 3. Tallahassee was fun until things happened that I didn't feel comfortable with. I tried, but there's no use in living somewhere where I'm not happy and I needed to be here. It just wasn't the right time to move, and I should have realized that when everything kept going wrong and when everyone kept telling me it was a bad idea. because they were right. I met a lot of amazing people in Tally, and I'm sure I'll keep in touch with a few for at least a little while. It sucks that I feel like I've lost one of my best friends, though. ehhhh, whatever. "your actions have consequences and these are them..." 1 | add

I don't ever wanna see you again, my friend- this is the end. [02/17/07 - 11:29pm] [ mood | annoyed ] [ music | rogue wave ] screw California and friends that are never there. I need to pack I need to move on I need to hang out with my friends I need to stop being so anti-social I need to stop talking to Bryan I need to be honest about my feelings with the other one I need to cut Robbie off (he's doing a good job of cutting me off, though) but most of all; I need to pack. fuck. oh, and I need to set up the electricity in our apartment. that would probably be a good thing to do. fuuuuck, I hate being so goddamn forgetful about things that are actually IMPORTANT. surprisingly, despite the fact that I hate hate hate hate valentines day-- I had a valentine, Bryon is sweet and I'm really comfortable around him which is weird. blegh. I don't want to talk to boys. I am stupid. I am so scared to move. add

[02/14/07 - 3:29am] one of my biggest fears is that I will never be able to love someone as much as I love you. and we just had quite possibly the cutest text message war ever. I miss you, Bryan Taylor. add

navigation [ viewing | most recent entries ]